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A Holiday Gift Of A Different Kind
Over the holidays my nephew Daniel was given a mobile phone as a gift
and I was observing him struggle over what calling plan to use.
There was a considerable amount of advice being directed at him by
family members (me included) as to what they thought the best plan
was, and why.
While participating in the melee I observed that…
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We were all trying to "sell" him on the idea we had
the best answer for him…
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Daniel wasn't listening to any of us! (Sound
familiar?)
In fact he was actively, verbally and passively resisting everything
we said, no matter how well meaning we were. And yet we continued to
pound at him with the objective of getting one of our answers
accepted! (Still familiar?)
While observing, it occurred to me there was a reason he was blocking
and resisting our "answers" to his problem. I had a feeling the
problem we were attempting to "help him with" was not the real
problem.
It was also clear the reason he wasn't listening to us was that we
weren't listening to him! His resistance was a huge signal. We kept
ignoring and pushing against it.
Why did we do this? Because we all fell into the same-old, same-old
easy trap of telling (selling) instead of asking and listening.
By being able to detach from the debate and observe, a question
materialized.
"Do you want the phone Daniel?" I asked.
To which he replied, "Perhaps a better question is, 'Do I need
the phone'?"
Huh? A gift! (It's amazing if you create some space and "give" a
little, how much people will give back!
So I took the gift and asked;
"Do you need the phone Daniel?"
"No!" he replied.
"Then… do you want the phone?"
"No, not really!"
"Can I ask why?"
"Because I really don't have any use for one! I've looked at the
various ways it might help me but overall I just can't find any
benefit."
"So then the real issue is not about deciding what plan to use,
it's about finding whether you have a need or a desire to have a
mobile phone in the first place… would that be right?"
"Yes. I hadn't thought about that!"
Now we could all move on by giving him time to think about what he
wanted to do, or help him by asking relevant questions based on the
real issue.
So what lessons can we learn from this when talking with prospective
partners, customers, associates, friends and family?
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Find and Focus on the correct issues. Many times they
are not what you think they are.
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Make sure you've been asked for advice before giving
it!
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Stop persisting when someone is resisting. Instead,
find the cause of the resistance! The cause could be you!
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Your questions are not just for you!
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Listen, observe and act on the verbal and body
language and body clues.
If you'd like some more ideas and examples about how to talk with your
friends and family about your business, then you'll be interested in
my audio program "Talking
With Friends".
This 3 CD set contains 4 role plays that show you the best way to talk
with the people closest to you. After listening to "Talking With
Friends" you'll know the secrets to talking confidently and easily
with them about your business. You won't be held back by any fear of
saying the wrong thing and perhaps causing offence.
If you'd like to know more, you can also download an extract from the
transcripts of "Talking With Friends" completely free. Simply
click
here.
Oh, and if you're wondering what Daniel did, he decided to become part
of the digital revolution!
Have a peaceful and prosperous…
Best Selling Author of "How to Sell Network Marketing Without
Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your Friends!" - Selling from the Soul. Ancient Wisdoms.
Modern Practice.
Want to get rid of all the techniques, systems and gimmicks simply
by changing the way you think and the way you act on what you think? Choose one of the many convenient options on the
right hand side of this newsletter.
Or click here
www.NaturalSelling.com
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