Address the Cause of the Fear,
Not the Fear Itself
You might have heard of the expression, “Face the fear and do it anyway.” It’s one of those conventional wisdoms or clichés that has never sat well with me.
Maybe you use the expression with your downline or have had it used on you to address the fear about calling leads or talking with people.
While the “facing the fear” approach can work (if you suck in your breath, stop your heart from rapidly beating and do it!), it tends to be only a temporary solution, because it’s addressing the wrong issue.
Fear is never the issue. The CAUSE of the fear is. Fear has a foundation and it’s different for everyone. That’s why neatly packaging it as a cliché as though it‘s the same for everyone doesn’t work.
Another conventional cliché says that the definition of fear is, “False expectations appearing real.”
This is patently FALSE! Some people’s fears are based on real experiences that can be quite dramatic. To say otherwise and tell them they are wrong will not help them or us.
For example, the very real fear that many Network Marketers have of making calls is usually based on the rejection they've experienced in the past.
And the cause of that rejection is more often than not the conventional way they've been taught to approach people using things like “canned” scripts.
I talk more about the causes of objection and rejection in the first few chapters of my book "How to Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your Friends!" Notice the words “Without Fear” in the title. I originally developed the Natural Selling approach to do away with the fear and anxiety that comes with the conventional way of selling.
From my own experience, I know that short-term solutions do not bring lasting results. I knew all the “objection handling” techniques and the “mental toughness” routines, yet I was still plagued with fear and anxiety. I used to find myself in meetings fiercely gripping the leg of a chair to relieve the tension that was inside me!
It wasn't until I addressed the real causes of the problem and adopted the principles of Natural Selling that I was able to do away with fear and anxiety and achieve the success I wanted.
One of the biggest sources of anxiety for most Network Marketers is simply starting the conversation with a potential business partner or customer. That's why I created the two-CD program "12 Ways to Start Effective Conversations Without Fear" to help get over this initial barrier.
Handling Objections
It’s the same reason why using “objection handling” techniques don’t work when addressing a potential partner's or customer's fear about something!
These techniques are based on addressing the symptoms of the problem and not the cause of it. If the cause isn’t addressed and resolved, the fear will never go away!
Oh, I know some Distributors will claim that using objection-handling techniques will work. Yet when I ask them the question: “Of the number of people you use these techniques on, how many people actually respond positively?” The answer is always very small!
And when I ask further: “How many of those people actually take action?” it works out to about 1%.
These are mail order odds! Your time and energy might be better spent sending out mailers!
The Answer
If you want to help others address their fears, and perhaps your own, ask questions around:
- Where does this fear come from? What is the cause of it?
- Is it real or is it perceived?
- Whether real or perceived, ask if the fear is serving them? The answer is usually self-evident. If it’s not serving them, then…
- Ask them what they think they can do about it. This puts the onus and responsibility on them making a commitment to make a change, and it takes it off of you having to tell them, which we know rarely works.
Asking “Discovering” types of questions like these will give both of you a better chance to permanently resolve the issue and move on
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Best Selling Author of "How
to Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your
Friends!" - Selling from the Soul. Ancient Wisdoms.
Modern Practice.
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